Should you avoid Conflict in Marriage?

The short answer in 'No-no'....familair? People dislike conflict and that's a fact. But why?

It just seems easier either to ignore the problems or just accept them, than trying to work out your differences.

The number one problem in marriages seems to be avoidance of conflict. Whether it is not wanting to discuss who takes out the trash or who takes Susie and Johnny to their soccer games, conflict is not something we look forward to. Unfortunately, if the things that are bothering you never come out in the open, then they tend to build up inside you and sometimes it's too late to do anything about them.

If you have already fallen into the habit of 'acceptance', then your significant other expects that that is the way you are going to react so they continue doing what they have always done. Marriage is about compromise. This is so important if you want to have a happy, successful marriage. Even though at times, you want your way, you have to be able to give in once in a while. It's only fair if you both get your way some of the time, and not one person always getting everything how they want it.

When a conflict arises between you and your partner, try to refrain from using the silent treatment. If you really are heated, it may be best to take a short walk and cool off, and then resume the discussion when you are a bit calmer. Give the other person time to cool off, as well. Try to refrain from bringing up the past. There's nothing worse than to hear over and over again about the past mistakes you've made. Keep the argument focused on the current issue. That's what caused the problem in the first place so it needs to be resolved.

Basically, it comes down to not holding everything in to the point of no return. While very few people enjoy conflict, it becomes necessary at times, and can help save your marriage if done in a thoughtful manner.

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What Time is it for Your Marriage?

Is Your Spouse Lying to you?

Why do people lie? Do you suspect your spouse may be lying to you and if so, how would you know? Below are some reasons why people may speak an untruth;

• To avoid conflict.
  To supposedly protect someone's feelings.
  To avoid the consequences of their behavior.
  To postpone having to make changes in lifestyle.
  To hide something they did or did not do.
  Because they are afraid of rejection or losing their spouse.
  To be in control of a situation.
  To avoid being embarrassed.
  To make themselves appear more successful, good, or talented than they really are

The bottom line: If you think your spouse is lying, ask questions and ask for clarification if necessary. Trust your own intuition or that funny feeling you may feel inside.

Is Your Spouse Cheating on you? Click to find out....

Possible Signs of Lying:

• Touching chin, or rubbing their brows.
  Crossed arms or legs.
  Playing with hair.
  A line of perspiration on the brow if it isn't a warm day.
  Saying "no" several times.
  Continual denying of accusations.
  Being extremely defensive.
  Providing more information and specifics than is necessary or was asked for. Smugness.
  May place a barrier such as a desk or chair in front of self.
  Uncommon calmness.
  Unwillingness to touch spouse during conversation.
  Being hesitant.
  Slouching posture.
  Rigidity or fidgeting.

Of course, some of these gestures may be nervousness or habit- use your gut instinct (it's usually right). So what can you do if your spouse is lying? Some experts teach that when you believe you are being lied to, you shouldn't confront your spouse with your suspicions right away. They recommend waiting until you have discovered more information and facts. Other experts believe that the sooner the cards are all out on the table, and the sooner honesty is lived out once again in a marriage, the better. Only you know what is best for your marriage relationship. Need more advice? Please click for more information!