Time-Starved? In a Rut?

Is your relationship with your significant other 'starving' for time? Perhaps you feel you're in a rut?

Being in a rut, or being bored in the relationship, leads to less closeness, which leads to reduced satisfaction in the marriage. People often think that couples who ‘never fight’ are the happiest; these findings suggest that a happy marriage involves more than merely a lack of conflict (though knowing how to work through problems in a respectful way is also key).

When couples go through new experiences and challenges together, marital satisfaction increases. “It is not enough for couples to be free of problems and conflicts, the take-home message of research is that to maintain high levels of marital quality over time, couples also need to make their lives together exciting.”
So how can you keep things exciting in a marriage--especially when life takes over and you have real responsibilities? The key is to not only communicate and work through conflict in healthy ways, but do things together that are new and exciting. Here are some ways to do that, and maintain a happy marriage:

• Have a date night once a week
• Try new things- regularly!
• Participate in each other's lives (be active and involved in their interests)
• Have more fun

Following these steps can help you to enjoy life more, feel less stressed, and experience greater levels of marital satisfaction. Sounds "win-win", doesn't it?

Spouse Cheated? What do you do now?

Marriage can survive infidelity. It's not easy. It hurts.
There will be anger, tears, and depression. It takes time. It takes a decision to love. It takes a decision to trust again.
It means no garbage dumping. It takes courage. It takes commitment. We believe a marriage can survive an extra-marital affair. But ONLY if both partners are willing to work at making the marriage successful.

Some feelings that are prominent when a couple experiences the accusation of infidelity in their relationship include:
- Shame
-Guilt
-Blame
-Anger
-Hurt
-Disappointment
-Rage
-Embarrassment
-Forgiveness
-Jealousy
-Lust
-Resentment
-Denial
-Mis-trust

Your marriage can survive this onslaught of feelings. However, some marriages are not meant to be saved.
If the infidelity is one of many symptoms of abuse in your relationship, or if your spouse is a serial cheater, it may be time to throw in the towel.

For more information visit: http://www.TheHappy-Marriage.com

Surviving the First 2 Years

New studies show that couples who lose the romance in their marriage during the first two years are more likely to eventually divorce.

Here are some suggestions;

1. Be prepared for the honeymoon blues.
2. Continue to schedule and keep dates with one another. Don't let romance become a low priority.
3. Discover ways to have fun together.
4. Discuss the big issues like money, inlaws, chores, and sex.
5. Talk about your expectations with one another. Make sure they are realistic.
6. Learn about one another's family of origin.
7. Fight fairly, but fight. Don't avoid conflict.
8. Learn how to compromise.
9. Deal with your differences.
10. Be forgiving.

for more tips please visit:

http://www.TheHappy-Marriage.com

Marriage Mistakes- Top 10

We're human, we're emotional and we're in a relationship- of course challenges will arise. That being said, why do some marriages seem to thrive and others dive? There is a pattern to Martial problems and issues that people share. Below are the top ten things you need to try and avoid in your own relationship.

1. Lack of Respect- never badmouth your spouse to family, friends or co-workers. Spouses need to be thanked and appreciated.


2. Not Listening- pay attention to your spouse when they are talking


3. Lack of Sexual Intimacy- this is a death knell for a marriage. Seek counseling and medical help if necessary.


4. Always Having to Be Right- very few people can love a 'know-it-all'. Admit when you've made a mistake or that you don't have all the answers.


5. Not Walking the Talk- Actions speak louder than words, follow-thru and do something when you say you will.


6. Hurtful Teasing- don't tease your spouse unkindly or use 'put-down' words.


7. Dishonesty- Keeping lies and secrets in your relationship creates distance and lack of trust.


8. Being Annoying- Things like gross personal hygiene habits, always being late, nitpicking, ect.


9. Being Selfish or Greedy- It's not all about you. Open your home to family & friends, don't hog the remote, watch movies your spouse wants to see.


10. Having Temper Tantrums- You are no longer a child. Every couple needs to be able to handle conflict in a constructive way. Anger outbursts will make you the loser in the end.

Spouse not Listening to You?

Nothing is more frustrating than a spouse who won't listen or tunes you out. Why?
The listening problem in your marriage could be related to issues that your spouse has, your method of delivery or more commonly, a combination of both.

People want to know how to make a spouse listen. Bottom line, there's nothing you can do to get your spouse to listen if they don't want to listen. You cannot change anyone but yourself. You cannot force your mate to hear what you are saying or to understand how you are feeling if your partner doesn't want to. Forcing or manipulating someone into counseling doesn't mean that they will truly listen to what a counselor has to say either. What can you do?

Here are some tips on how to be a more effective communicator and listener;

1. Don't Interrupt
2. Keep an Open Mind
3. Make Listening a Priority
4. Use the Feed-Back Technique
5. Watch for Non-Verbal Signs
6. Stay Focused
7. Remember Gender Differences
8. Show Respect
9. Don't Give Advice unless Asked

Poor communication skills can be an inherited family trait. If a person is raised in an environment where people don't listen or can't express their feelings, they will probably bring that inability to communicate into their marriage and other relationships. However, you can change the habit of being a shallow listener.

Time-Starved Marriage?

The less time you have together, the more things go wrong in your relationships.

Do any of these describe your marriage?

• Your life centers around your children & your jobs


• You are both pretty exhausted during the week


• Your home and life seems to move from one small crisis to another


• Time for romance or interacting with one another is saved for weekends along with catching up on chores around the house

So what can you do? Here are some solutions for a Time-Starved Marriage:

• Be honest with each other about the time issues in your lives


• Focus more on your husband-wife relationship


• Make sure the two of you are connecting with each other every day


• Don't put yourselves on 'hold', either personally or as a couple. Take care of yourself both emotionally and physically


• Say, "No" more often to errands, chores, social activities with others, overtime, volunteer work, meetings, ect


• Have at least one date night each month


• Send emails to each other and leave love notes around the house


• Find ways to make the most of every precious moment you have with each other

For more tips, please visit http://www.thehappy-marriage.com/

Humor & Fun

Feel like your marriage is missing a little something? Try a little fun! Adding fun and humor in a marriage is a must- and it doesn't have to be difficult or expensive. Today’s couples need to make time to enjoy each other.
Most couples work too hard to really enjoy their life together- they feel that if they aren’t doing something useful, they are wasting time. It's never a waste of time to work on your marriage.

• Schedule time for some fun


• Spend time with other couples


• Do chores together


• Loan out the kids for a brief time so you can be together


• Spice things up- try something new or different


• Learn something new together

Whatever activity you choose, keep in mind that the main objective is to have fun. Resist the temptation to fill the time with conversation about work, bills, or to-do lists. Use the time to enjoy your spouse.
Remember, this time is just as important as anything else you do for your family. Start today and play your way to a healthier and happier marriage.

Dating Your Spouse?

Are you still 'dating' your spouse? It may be a concept foreign in your relationship but even after years of marriage, you can still keep the spark alive by setting side time to go out on dates. Dating is an important part of a relationship and should not be ignored or neglected.
Here are a few suggestions;

• Call your spouse and ask for a date.
• When your date is supposed to start, pretend you are picking your spouse up by knocking on the door to announce your arrival.
• Bring flowers or candies. Play it up as much as possible. Have fun!
• Find a reliable baby-sitter and book him or her in advance for your dates.
• Have your children stay with relatives so you can plan weekends alone

Not sure how to go about planning or preparing for your date?

• Make a list of things you and your spouse like to do together.
• Include at least 10 things on your list. The things you choose can cost money - going to the movies or the theater - or be free - taking a walk on the beach or having a candlelight dinner on the living room floor.
• Check your schedules. Set aside at least one day per month for you and your partner to make a date.
• Take time to prepare for your date. Act as you did when you and your partner first started dating, taking extra time to feel and look your best.
• Hold hands, open doors for each other and lock arms. Be excited and enthusiastic about your date.

Money Problems in your Marriage?

How serious are money problems in a relationship?

Perhaps it’s not a question of how serious your money problems are, but how much you know about personal finance. It is human to want to avoid problems. To say to your spouse, “if I had known about your spending habits before, I would not have married you”, is a cowardly way of putting the blame on someone else. You entered into a partnership and logically, you should solve your problems as true partners, not as political opponents.

So what can you do? Before you teeter into the path of bankruptcy, tell your spouse you have a major problem to solve. You can try solving it yourselves, but if you end up fighting or arguing, you need the objective opinion of a third party (not including friends or relatives) see a professional financial advisor.

Having debts is normal- about 95% of the population carry debt. The only time it’s not normal is when it begins to rule your life like a hydra-headed monster. You know what that means; too many days in the month and not enough money and you're constantly thinking about money (or lack thereof). This means your quality of life deteriorates because your debt load is too high.

Be smart, be disciplined- stick to a budget and follow a debt repayment program. Work together with your spouse and most importantly, be honest with each other.

Coping with Stress in your Marriage

The impact of stress and burnout on a marriage can be devastating. Here are some tips on handling stress.

When any of these symptoms start to creep into your marriage, make time together to step back and re-evaluate your life style and commitment to one another.

Do this in a positive way so that you are not creating more stress for one another. Point out to each other the areas of your marriage relationship that are running smoothly.

Physical Symptoms:
· Difficulty sleeping
· Poor appetite or overeating
· Frequent colds, flu, other illnesses
Emotional Symptoms:
· More arguments
· Sexual and intimacy problems
· More anger, irritation
· Low toleration level
· Anxious
· Depressed
· Tense
How to Cope with Stress:
· Eat healthy foods
· Get enough sleep
· Drink water throughout the day
· Make time for exercise
· Have some fun and laugh more
· As a couple, try to spend some time alone together
· Be supportive of one another

For additional free tips and advice, please visit http://www.thehappy-marriage.com/